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Awkward Situation #1: Avoided

The wonderful world of text messaging. You thought teenagers were the only ones who used it? Think Again. Let’s check out Paul’s mom. Who apparently is so scared of calling her sons only friend Kory (who ironically should be the one committing suicide for having that name) about his friends suicide. So what does Paul’s mom do? What everybody does now a day, just sends a simple text message. You save yourself so much trouble. You don’t have to hear this pansy cry on the other line as to why his best friend ended his life. He probably killed himself because his mother never spoke to him in person only texted him.

Let’s take a peek at other awkward situations we could avoid by just sending a text message.

Breaking Up With a Significant Other

Dread the day when you no longer want to be with him/her? It’s coming don’t you worry. But now with the beauty of a text message you forget that awful four-five hour conversation. BOOYAAA! Send one of these babies and you’re home free.

“Hey Baby……It’s over, so….. ttyl!”

Declaring War

Well we all know George Bush is probably as smart as a fourth grader. One who’s repeated it five times. You think he had that awkward phone call with Saddam? Let’s take a peak at Bush’s outbox.

“Saddam, yeahhhh about you and those weapons of mass destruction…..we’re gonna have to go ahead and attack you guys now”

“Oh BTW, totally blame you for 9/11. k see ya l8r”

Suicide*

The suicide note, what to write? Will everyone get it? I’m worried if I misspell anything… don’t want to seem like a loser…err too late huh? No more worries emo friend. Just send a mass text to all your friends about your departure from this earth! Best part about sending a mass suicide text is that you never have to answer! Worst part? If nobody actually answers that text.Hey well you made the right move to begin with.

*Disclaimer – I do not condone suicide for the simple reason that nothings better than being alive. If you ever feel like dying just wait it out. We’re all going to die eventually….well aside from me because I’ve got to write this blog forever.